


Almost A Year

by captain_sassy_socks



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28915752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_sassy_socks/pseuds/captain_sassy_socks
Summary: It's been almost a year, and Sam still grieves.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 31
Kudos: 55





	Almost A Year

**Author's Note:**

> The news of Mira Furlan’s death (Delenn on Babylon 5) has shaken me to the core. For most of the day, I bawled my eyes out and ended up writing this raw and sad ficlet. If you cannot deal with MCD or coping with bereavement, please turn away.

Almost a year.

A quick glance toward the calendar on her desk assured her that 364 days had indeed passed. These days, time didn’t follow the laws of physics. One moment, it flew by; the next, it dragged on until she started to forget the concept altogether. But she didn’t have the liberty to surrender herself to the welcomed oblivion. Duty and responsibility demanded her full attention.

Almost a year.

Sam closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath.

A mistake.

The painful memory resurfaced, forever etched into her mind in excruciating detail.

_The front door shut behind her, and the keys landed in the bowl_ _on the small table_ _in the hallway. “Jack?” Sam called_ _into the quiet house. “Jack? Where are you?”_

_Nobody answered, not even their dog Thor._

_It_ _wasn’t_ _unusual for_ _her husband_ _to work in his little workshop in the garage or read a book on the bench in the backyard,_ _although s_ _he_ _hadn’t heard_ _any noises when she walked up the driveway._

_The knot in_ _her stomach_ _tightened_ _._

_Looking for him, she moved to the kitchen first before she entered the study,_ _where she spotted_ _Jack’s sleeping form on the sofa._ _She had met this cute scene many times before, but today, something unsettled her._

_Time slowed down._

_Jack’s chest didn’t move, and his fishing magazine laid discarded on the floor._ _Thor_ _rested his muzzle on Jack’s leg and whimpered_ _._

_The color drained from Sam’s face._

_Panic-stricken_ _, she rushed over and frantically searched for a pulse at his throat._

_Nothing._

“ _Jack!_ _W_ _ake up!”_ _She grabbed his shirt and shook his body._

_Still nothing._

“ _Don’t do this to me!” The choked words_ _went_ _unheard._

_As one second stretched into another, the absence of the lively beat and the distressing coldness underneath her fingertips carved the painful knowledge into her soul._

_Jack was gone._

After that, everything else was a blur. She only remembered Teal’c’s strong arms had engulfed her as she had sobbed bitterly.

In the following days, her rational mind had struggled to accept a life without her beloved Jack whereas her hopeful heart had remained stubborn and insisted that it was a just dream, that, any second, he would walk through the door and peck her cheek while she nursed her morning coffee.

Until the funeral.

Amidst a mass of hypocritical politicians and other high-ranking military members expressing their condolences, the harsh reality had crashed over her and threatened to drown her in a sea of grief. In distress, she had clutched the folded flag to her chest and endured the lengthy ceremony. One he had never wanted, despite his prestige and military rank. Only the silent support of her family had prevented her from falling apart.

Later on, she had taken Jack’s ashes through the Stargate one last time and spread them among the stars where he belonged for all eternity.

In the end, not the Goa’uld, not the replicators, not the Ori, nor any other enemy they had ever faced, had defeated him. His heart had simply stopped, and hers had shattered into a million pieces.

A lone tear ran down her cheek as she traced the picture of a smiling Jack petting Thor.

Tomorrow, she would gather her closest friends and family to remember him, to share anecdotes and silly stories, to feel his spirit among them.

Today, she tried to hang on and make it through another day.

UNSCHEDULED OFF-WORLD ACTIVATION

The sudden announcement and the blaring sirens yanked her from her musings. With the back of her hand, she wiped the evidence of her broken soul away and put the picture back on the shelf behind her, next to the one of SG-1 from their first year as a team.

A few seconds later, she strode into the control room, focused and professional as ever. Only her fingers caressing Jack’s silver star on her left shoulder gave her innermost thoughts away. With a steady voice, she asked the lieutenant on duty, “What do we have?”

Almost a year.

And she still hoped to wake up from the nightmare.


End file.
